On May 3rd, 2014, Jason and I tied the knot! We were wed under an oak tree at Circle Oak Ranch in Fallbrook, CA.
We have enjoyed nearly 5 (OMG FIVE YEARS!!!) in two months time. As we count down to this special milestone, we are going to share a few tips and tricks we have found out about marriage and hopefully stay married for forever!
When we got married, much like many other milestones in our lives, we quickly realized that this journey…wasn’t as advertised. So we are sharing the top 5 things we were surprised by in this journey called Marriage.
#1. IT ISN’T AS ADVERTISED! – Marriage in the literal sense is not a dream, it isn’t endless happiness, and it isn’t a solution to your problems (if anything it makes them way worse.) Marriage is a day in day out job. We love to romanticize it, we love to make grand overtures about it, but at the end of the day…it takes work, patience, and above all else, the willingness to make it WORK! And that is how you have a successful marriage, you work your tushy off to make it work.
#2. IT ISN’T EASY! – Social media is everywhere, from television to our smart phones and all of it is saying the same thing. You are newly weds, you are supposed to be HAPPY! This is the best time of your lives! And it completely overlooks the challenges of making a life together. You think you have it all together, that you are on the same page, that you agree! It is why you got married in the first place. But then you realize that your idea of spending might not be the same, the frequency you should have sex might not be the same, the unseen ways that your new spouse handles stress (Eating too many cookies or stealing the remote to binge watch top gun over and over and over!)…Marriage isn’t easy and it is so easy to pretend it is…But knowing that, can put you into the right mindset to having a successful marriage!
#3. YOU MARRY THEIR FAMILY TOO! – You love your husband or wife! They are amazing! They fit you like a key fits a lock! But your new mother in law or father in law that you sort of got along with…well they are here to stay and the harsh reality is that there is NO ESCAPE. Because well, they raised your new spouse and it is really easy to find yourselves in all out war because they are backing their family and you are backing yours. But remembering that they raised your beloved, that they are your family too, and that you can hide behind your spouse is the beauty of making sure you have a successful marriage: you are your own little family now.
#4. YOUR AREN’T FINISHED YET! – That’s right! We think of ourselves as so grown up, so done, so adult. Because we are ready to get married now! But the reality is that there are many decades ahead of us. Many years of growth and the key to having an amazing marriage is to grow together. Remember to focus on growing up, but never apart.
#5. COUNSELLING DOESN’T MEAN YOUR MARRIAGE IS FAILING! – The beauty of marriage is that it is a work in progress between two people and a veritable village of people standing behind them and supporting them. Like all of those people you love stand behind and beside you at your wedding day…so many marriages need help! Don’t be afraid to seek help, to reach out to wisdom because this isn’t a race. It is a marathon and in a marathon not only do you need to train like hell for it…but there are people there to cheer you on along the way, to hand out food, to gift you water…support is the key to having the strongest marriage.
We hope that you have enjoyed learning a little about our marriage and the things we have discovered in our almost five years. We cannot wait for the future and our upcoming blog: Our top 5 marriage faux pas! (and all the hilarity that ensued with them!) Have a great weekend everyone!